Pregnancy, Female, 18, Drug Abuse
“The women from the pregnancy center became my greatest mentors and friends.”
Life for me was always a bit messy. I was born in Arizona. When my mother found out she was pregnant with me, she was 18, and my dad was a crack addict. My mother was determined to give me the best life she could, but my dad spent his days behind prison gates or chasing his drug addiction on the streets. Therefore, I was robbed of ever having a relationship with my Dad. I had a huge void in my heart and life beginning at a very young age. I started to fill that void with sex, guys, porn, drugs and alcohol early on. Before I knew it I was a full blown addict. I dropped out of high school at the age of 15 so I could continue on my dangerous path. My family moved to Upstate New York when I was 17, and I was forced to move with them. They wanted me to have a fresh start and tried moving me away to get me sober. It worked for a little while and life was great, but my heart condition remained the same. It did not take long for me to start attracting those same people into my life again. I met a guy who had many tattoos and piercings, and he ended up being a drug dealer too. I fell head over heels for him, and my addiction blew out of control once more.
I had not been feeling well for a while, but let’s face it, I never really felt okay unless I was completely numbed by drugs or alcohol. So I continued to ignore all the possible symptoms of pregnancy and in deep denial thought they were just my addiction. Finally, my mother knew something was wrong and demanded that I take a pregnancy test at her home. She locked me in the bathroom until I took it. Sure enough I was pregnant. I was eighteen, addicted, and now pregnant. I knew that I could not continue using or drinking and tried to stop right away.
My boyfriend told me I had to have an abortion. He had the money to pay for it, and I was going to go to the same place his ex went for her abortion, Planned Parenthood. Deep down I wanted to be able to be a mom. I wanted to change, but I had absolutely no hope at all. I began to believe the lies that abortion sells women. I began to believe the lie that I wouldn’t be able to make it as a single mother, and I would end up alone forever. Lies that financially I would not be able to take care of a baby, or that I would not be able to be successful if I have this baby. I began to believe that I would never be able to change my habits, and I was too young to be a mother. The two biggest lies were that by having an abortion, I would be doing my baby a favor, and this problem will just go away, and I will be able to get back to my life.
After spending many sleepless nights crying myself to sleep, I gave in to all these lies and decided abortion would be best for me. My mother was at a meeting talking about my decision to have an abortion. She was scared I was making the wrong decision, but she didn’t know how to change my mind or help me. After the meeting a man came up to her with a piece of paper with CareNet Pregnancy Centers number on it. My mom asked me if she could make an appointment at this pregnancy center, and I agreed to go.
When I walked through the center doors, my heart was pounding. I was so scared and embarrassed of who I was and what I was about to do. I really felt as if I had no hope. At the center my counselor went thoroughly over all of my options. For the first time I learned when the heart starts beating and the limbs start growing. My counselor also shared her story with me and prayed with me. Immediately, I was filled with a hope I cannot explain, a courage that fell from heaven, and a strength I did not know I had. They set me up with an ultrasound appointment and got me right in. On the screen bounced my eight week old precious baby. I knew from the moment I walked out of those doors that I was going to keep my baby. They offered to help me along the way.
During my pregnancy I went into a drug rehab facility. I continued my pregnancy sober. The father of the baby and I got back together, and he gave up the lifestyle of using and selling drugs. We had our daughter on October 3, 2008. It was the best day of our life! We got engaged shortly after and started to plan our wedding. The women from the pregnancy center became my greatest mentors and friends. Through the leading of the director I started going to church and attending weekly bible study. My life began rapidly changing after I surrendered it to Jesus Christ. After struggling greatly with many relapses and hardships in addiction I was finally completely set free! God had a plan for my life and my families. He was so faithful every step of the way even through all the dark times. When there seemed to be no way, He made a way.
Today, I have three beautiful children. I have been serving God since 2010 and set free from drug addiction for six years. I cannot even begin to imagine where my life would be had I not gone to the pregnancy center. Choosing life and trusting God to work out all the details has blessed so many. God has a plan for every life created. Trust Him. Seek Him. He will create a story for you and you will look back in amazement on how He carried you through. My daughter who was saved from abortion is almost 8 years old. She is a beautiful dancer who loves Jesus and has a smile and spunk in her that is contagious. I know God has something very special planned for her, and I am so thankful I get to be her Mom and watch it unfold.